Queen of the Goblins

drawing

portrait of my grandma

at the beach

me: [points at super cute little blonde guy] That's my new boyfriend
my sister: your new boyfriend has taken his swimming trunks off and started peeing
me: Ew! well he'll learn
my sister: now your new boyfriend is on top of his daddy

my sister: Diana you have chocolate on your toes. What have you been doing??
me: I ate a cookie

i want this

Victoria & Diana's adventures Day out 4

[walking down the street, we see a cutie]

Victoria - Make a noise. Quack to him
Diana - I thought you were gonna say Miaow or something sexier
Victoria - Do the elephant!

Diana - I have this friend visiting...I can be with him 2pm to 5am, I told him. It's just my schedule
Victoria - Yea I know. I'm gonna make that my schedule it's a really fun schedule

[in the club sitting down, we exchange guys]

VIctoria - talk to him..
Diana - wait, am I a japanese pornstar to this one?
VIctoria - no just normal

Guy1 - Are those guys your bodyguards?
Victoria - We prefer to call them security

VIctoria - How many pinkheads are needed to open a front door at 8am? Two.

[on our way back from the club Victoria's ankle was hurting so we went to the hospital. There we found this weirdo who was drunk and sitting in the waiting room for no apparent reason]

Victoria - So what are you doing in this hospital?
Weirdo - I...was...coming..drinking..too much drinking..coming to hospital
Diana - He says he was on his way to the Windmill*
Victoria - oh you got lost while you were going to the Windmill

[*The Windmill is a strip club in London]

Weirdo- Boyfriends..it's important that they go far. Do you wanna go far
Vic's pretend boyfriend - Uh I'm good
Victoria - Darling I don't know if i'm gonna love you forever if you don't wanna get far!
Diana - My boyfriend got really far. He's so far I don't see him anymore

[on our way back home, at 9pm!]

Truck Driver - How much, love?
Diana - a 1000 per hour. And a lambourghini

This is us that night. Me eating Victoria:

[night out at Proud, Camden with Victoria]

D- He has a girlfriend
V- He's so cute!
D- That's why I'm telling you

"To claim that girls and women want to look like blonde bombshells because of the billboards, movies, TV shows, music videos, and magazine advertisements makes as little sense as to claim that people become hungry because they are bombarded with images of food in the media. If only the media would stop inundating people with images of food, they would never be hungry! Women’s desire to be blonde preceded the media by centuries, if not millennia."

Excerpt from "Why Beautiful People Have More Daughters"

pretty girls

Victoria & Diana's adventures Day out 3

V- Four...
D - Are you counting?
V- Sort of
D- Okay let's count. Five
V- Six

D - Why don't you take your t shirt off?
Bobby - You do it
D - No I don't wanna touch you

D - Hands off! I'm gonna put some ice down your pants
Bobby - What?
D - This
Bobby - hey!

Bobby - Kiss me on my cheek again?
D - No, you are the worst cheek kisser i've ever met.

Bobby - You smacked me really hard

Bobby - My girlfriend is a goat
D - My boyfriend is a panther
Bobby - I was joking
D - I'm not
Bobby - that's crazy
D - You're the one who's fucking a goat.

Bobby - you want me to get you a drink?
D - No thanks, I pick up them up from the tables for free
Bobby - oh. Can you get a drink then?

[After club, on the street walking on the wrong direction]
V - Hi construction guys! Do you know anywhere around here where we could go eat?? we're STARVING. I don't care what kind of food, I'll eat anything
D - She'll eat anything
V - Can you guys pose for a photo with me?

Black guy - I am from Jamaica
D - I am from Jamaica, too!
Black guy - oh hey

[at McDonalds]
D - Nice to meet you come with us. Are you gay though? We only go with gay guys
Gay Guy - Yes i am actually haha
D - oh that's great, we too. High five!

[getting home]
D - I'm not drunk I'm just really, really happy hahaha
V - Gosh Diana, you look happy! Here gimme the key, I'll open

beautiful statement from Quincy Jones

"I am absolutely devastated at this tragic and unexpected news. For Michael to be taken away from us so suddenly at such a young age, I just don't have the words.

Divinity brought our souls together on The Wiz and allowed us to do what we were able to throughout the 80's.

To this day, the music we created together on "Off The Wall," "Thriller" and "Bad" is played in every corner of the world and the reason for that is because he had it all…talent, grace, professionalism and dedication.

He was the consummate entertainer and his contributions and legacy will be felt upon the world forever."

It's good to remember

that getting hurt is only a feeling. It doesn't hinder us, stop us, or hurt our karma in any way. It's just a human feeling. It doesn't matter, it doesn't have any consequence...

Suddenly it's not so bad

V - Look at me, I'm huge since I came here with all this food. This is what this house does to you! It gives you boobs. You've had dinner, you might grow some boobs tomorrow
D - I'd love that

V - What did you do..? Did you change your hair tone?
D - No I changed my skintone
V - Oh
D - That's why my hair looks kind of weird
V - Yea..
D - I was trying this self tanner, i woke up and was like oh my god I'm a black woman!

well put

"Art can create lasting change in our perception of the world: music, books, painting, plays, movies.

Stripping just gives you a boner....!

I'm not saying it has nothing to it, but it has no lasting value. I feel the same about fashion. People speak of fashion as if it is an art form , but it's not, it's a craft. A Shakespeare play still has the power to increase our awareness of human consciousness. An Elizabethan gown - it's just a museum piece. It doesn't tell you anything, except people used to wear silly, uncomfortable clothes."

John Lucas

Marcus - I have a theory. I've been using my decoding powers
Diana - Men have no such powers...

John - somehow i do not see your wedding being a standard affair

Diana - On my birthday, i don't want to do anything or see anyone
John - we're a bundle of social joy aren't we

Carlo - But you have GUNS don't you
Diana - No!
Carlo - Oh too bad. Use scissors

best question in Yahoo Answers

- Is there really someone out there for everyone?

After Nickelback show

V- What are you doing..?
D- I've just drank vodka through my nose, i don't know how this happened

D- Edward, how is your name pronounced, Ed-uhard or Edwaohrd
E- Warren
V- I thought he was Andrew. I've been calling him Andrew
D- I kinda prefer Edward

E- Can I ask you a question?
D- No i don't answer anything without my interview coach

D- Fine we'll go to a strip club. But gentlemen I have to warn you, we're a 1000 per hour

M- What would you like to drink?
D- Chai Latte
V- Stop it you can't order Chai Latte at 2 in the morning in a club

Chinese Guy- Okay from what I can tell, your boyfriend is not white- his skin is caramel color- and has dark brown eyes and long brown hair
D- You are good.

M- So where are you girls heading to?
D- To a casino
V- No we weren't?
D- Shh stick to the story

D- Also casinos don't close until 5.30 so we can stay until then..No wait- that's when the tube starts. I guess that's why I leave at 5.30?
M- Shut up you're drunk

M- Hey. You took your clothes off
D- All the other girls did it
M- Well it's a strip club

- Do you need a car lady?
D- No we want to get a bicycle

- How old are you?
D- Fifteen
- You're too young
D- I'm not fifteen you doo doo head, can't you see I'm 23?
- Okay come in
- Thank you

Quote of the Day

- For not having seen your boyfriend in three weeks, you look really happy...!
- I AM happy! I'm in new painkillers and they seem to be working

- I'm in a strip club! Yay
- haha yay. I'm with two prostitutes

FYI

"Lady Gaga vows not to ever lipsync in her shows"

An artist doesn't decide whether he lipsync or not. That's agreed between management and venue. Of course artists want to sing live because they get much more credit, but venues always prefer lipsincyng because then there are fewer risks involved and it's much cheaper. So they often don't sign contracts allowing a full live performance. Usually, and this is what most artists do, it's faux live (that's a term i just made up, please correct me i can't remember the proper word!), meaning that most of the show is pre recorded, including instruments and all backing and some main vocals.

just something to think about

It always shocks me how many proposals I get to do nude glamour shoots, porn and escorting services. It's a door that's always open - or even - very much trying to suck girls in, and that really does pay fantastically well. But the thing is

it's porn!

Is it okay that porn has become the new waitressing? I can't say it is.

I find it a fascinating industry, very appealing in theory, I don't have anything against it, I have friends in it, it doesn't gross me out.

That said, I think it would be healthy to remember that there is a very real value in what you're giving, and that's why you're being paid so generously for it. The problem with this reasoning is that it no longer works. Men no longer care about how many people you've fucked (20+ is the norm for a twenty something, right?), about how many times you've aborted, about how many people you're snogging when you go out to a club.

Speaking of slutty behaviour

I've had my share of decadent experiences and I've witnessed plenty of times how the girl who gets the popular boy is the one who's dressed up like a barbie on crack, gets high out of her mind with some random mr.Cash's coke, ends up at someone's apartment, passes out in the bathroom, gets raped (duh) and a week later calls the boy to ask for help because she's pregnant. It's not an amateur college movie anymore, it's real life.

That boy will drop all his responsabilities (including his girlfriend who might have equally challenging but not as fun problems) to aid this "poor soul". And the real problem to me is not the fact that the girl "needs help", it's the fact that that girl is getting all the attention, and that's exactly what she's after, and that's exactly why girls keep imitating this behaviour. If that girl got completely ignored, was left to die in the bathtub, and/or was left to raise a baby by her own means -trust me- this wouldn't happen so often. Then we would address the real problem, which is that today in 2009 everybody's moral values are fucked!

*throws confetti*

cosmetic animal testing

I feel we're leaving things out when we agree on boycotting companies that do animal testing. First of all, I don't think any of us including myself have any clue on what is really happening and whatnot and that information should be given, but i suspect that it's just a so trendy ethical marketing strategy to say that they don't test.

It's only logical to think that we would have never gotten where we are if nobody had ever tested chemicals on animals. Products have to be tested on something alive. A company can claim not to test, but then be owned by one who does. A company can also claim not to test, but buy results that were obtained through testing. A company can even claim not to test, and not test, but that company could have been owned previously by one who bought those results. In short- we need those results and that testing has to be done by somebody, otherwise products would be a beautiful surprise.

What I would ask is for this to be regulated, controlled, limited or however you want to call it. I would ask for common sense and no sadism- no pain, not testing things that are obviously going to harm them etc. Besides, animals are extremely expensive in the testing field, so it would make sense to think that companies do consider other options before choosing that one. A complex animal like a chimp, it goes for a several hundred thousand + 10k a year and one thing I know about business is - they do NOT waste a penny if they have a cheaper option. That said I do think it's a topic that should be thoroughly explained to the general public, since it's obviously very controversial.

Guess what

that whole explanation for "Poker Face" being about Gaga's bisexuality doesn't make any sense.

If she indeed is bisexual - I'd say sexually bi-curious. She doesn't look like she could and would actually fall in love with a woman and marry her. I could be wrong - but anyway if she is, then why the hell would she sleep with a man, while thinking of a girl? why not sleep with a girl...? besides, bisexual or not, you do not think of a gender when you're having sex, you think of a person/s in particular. So she's saying, she's with her boyfriend Peter thinking of her best friend Tanya? and that happens often enough to make a song out of it? Isn't that just wrong...?

some woman- whew! i'm so tired, I just did a marathon!
D- Oh did you go to the marathon this morning? I missed it!
some woman- what? no i went up and down the stairs two floors at Gucci
D- oh

- This you're taking is my favorite item of the collection (at Ralph Lauren. Sales assisant says of my jacket, which happens to be the most expensive item of the collection)

text of the day

"u trying to tell me you've stopped your exhibitionist tendencies? i don't believe it for a second"

by Tommy

lady gaga reviews

i kind of agree with everything here

http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/2009/jan/09/lady-gaga-the-fame

and some of this

http://uk.launch.yahoo.com/090115/33/220fu.html

Oooh I'm so upset i was too sick yesterday to hang out with her at Bungalow 8.

I like a few of her tunes, I am a huge fan of brainless pop, but one thing is brainless pop, and another very different thing is this r&b/house thing (NOT disco.) that speaks only of itself, pure pretension rapper-style. Some like describing this as "escapism" (how sophisticated) in a time of recession, but actually, I'd rather be having the fun myself. The simple truth is, the woman has been spending time getting naked in clubs, dancing and doing drugs so that's what she writes about. Very respectable, but I don't particularly enjoy hearing about it for 60 minutes straight.

As for the "fashion", the way she constantly talks about it as if she discovered architectural clothing is incredibly annoying. Musicians have been wearing outfits for ever, and they didn't feel the need to bring them up in every interview.

Best. Strawberry cake. Ever

^This message was sent from a BlackBerry device

Life of a Diana left alone, waiting for a 6am flight. Thinking Process

20:12

I'm going to double-check that the pickup car is gonna come at 3

Okay. My cosmetics fit in my suitcase. My clothes and shoes don't. But that's fine! I'm gonna be wearing shoes to get there

*watches documentary about corsets*
Wow I love corset training. I have to use my corset more *goes puts on corset*

20:30
I'm gonna hate coming back to this mess. I'm gonna tidy up
*takes off corset*

20:35
I'm gonna clean the kitchen.

20:40
I'm gonna clean the bathroom

20:50
I might aswell vacuum

21:00
Let's see if i remember that song I composed yesterday *plays piano* I do! I'm good!

21:13
oh god I really don't like this version the producer sent me of my song. What am I supposed to say

21:20
This email about modelling on Harleys is such a scam. I want a Harley

21:25
Heeey I didn't know she was on Twitter. Bitch.

21:30
*puts on corset*

21:35
I'm going to try my corset with my t shirts on top. Should I take this tee?

21:40
*answers facebook emails. One thing leads to another*

I have to stop stalking my friends on Facebook

Nobody called me tonight!

Oh yea. Oli did...

21:47
*curls hair* My hair is shit today. I don't know why I bother

Hm I haven't tried this perfume for a while

22:00
Oh MY GOD I've lost my mom's diamond and sapphire ring I am DEAD!!!!

22:05
Thanks God i found it

22:14
I'm not sure about the perfume I'm wearing. I'm gonna wash it off. Smells like tobacco ?! My boyfriend wouldn't like it

22:30
I might aswell make myself another sausage

22:35
All my food is gonna go bad. I should eat the kiwis and the salad

23:24
[phone] "Mom. Just making sure that you're taking contact lenses solution?..L'oreal masque the yellow bottle?  Potion 9? Okay. And the last season of Frasier, tell dad. And my calligraphy book. Okay fine."

23:30
"Mom can I just take my McQueen jacket or is it gonna be colder than that?"

00:50
This corset is hot.

Why do I have nutella on my nose?

1:00
I'm gonna put on a bra

1:01
This bra is hot

1:05
*dances to Chris Cronell*
*dances to The Killers*
*dances to Lady Gaga*
I'm gonna put on a skirt

Maybe i should film this.
Oh whatever.

Damn it's hard to move in this corset

1:27
This is STUPID. i cannot carry 3 juicy tubes in my makeup bag, what's wrong with me??

1:28
Maybe I should get the orange hermes scarf instead of the missoni, it's kinda wintery

Oh no. The Hermes totally clashes with my coral suitcase

1:34
I hate my ribs

- we went to Bgs last night, have you been there?
- that club sounds familiar..yea..yea I've been in their kitchen! doing coke
- oh
- not me, i wasn't doing it, my friends were
- oh
- so nice to meet you. Bye.

A- Guess what she does
Ar- hmm
A- Like..is she a banker? accountant?
Ar- hmm. Singer
D- you're good.

[in front of the barman]
S- haha and then you grabbed my cock!
J- haha i did
D- boys. behave.
S- haha sorry.

------------

- He's very into that..I don't do hard drugs anymore
- oh, good for you
- yea...[leans under the table and does some]. I don't do pot either
- oh me neither

This is not the reason why I'm taking a carry on

But it is a solid argument

^This message was sent from a BlackBerry device

mood killer

In the middle of my glorious piano interpretation of "I'm through with love", my boyfriend calls

[with my best friend's american boyfriend]

Hairbow

^This message was sent from a BlackBerry device

New skirt

^This message was sent from a BlackBerry device

Aidan & Nick's houseparty

My friends are commenting on how tame it looks haha...

compared to my usual antics

This is me eating cake:

This is me with Nick

And this is me with Marcus who escorted me over, being total geeks

more little cousin

- Are you running the 5km race this year Diana?
- yea!
- great. I ran with carlota last year but you're way more fun
- more fun why?
- Well all your sister did was run and when you and me do it we chat the whole way and stuff, and chatting is more fun
- oh i agree

[houseparty]

D- Sorry can you show me the way to the bathroom?
Host - Yes just over here [opens door to a bedroom] Oops that's not it

D- So is this some kind of housewarming party?
N- Kind of
D- When did you move here?
A- Two years ago

D- Sorry we're monopolizing the bedroom..we'll be out in a sec

- you are so bad
D- you know I'm bad. Pun intended
- very funny

D- Where are you I've been trying to reach you we're awfully late!
M- I'm at home
D- Oh okay-
M- Kidding I'm at the station
D- NO! I'm still home! then I'm late!

 

- I'm [insert foreign name that i could only understand as "hjhjhjh"]
D- Good to meet you. Can you spell that out?
- yes [insert super strong foreign accent that sounded like jjjjjjjjjjjj]
D- okay... I'll find you a nickname

Victoria & Diana's adventures Day out 2

There seems to be a communication problem here

Hi how are you

I am a photographer I'm having a shoot on the 8th of April at 2pm, wondering if you'd like to take part. TFCD based I will have a MUA and a hairstylist. Get back asap. Thanks.

------------

Hi thanks for reaching me. Could you tell me about the shoot?

-----------

As I said it will be at 2pm on the 8th and you'll need to bring two outfits 1 high fashion and 1 funky so the MUA can do a good job on you

-----------

I'm going to need more details before I consider it...

What kind of pictures are we trying to achieve? portraits/body/fashion/artistic

/plain...what style? can i have a link to the photographer, MUA and the hairstylist portfolios? Is this a location shoot/studio/furnished or block color background? am I working by myself or with other models?

-----------

It's going to be in the studio but will see if the weather is good. Got some good location around the place. I got a lot of colored back ground so depends on what you get.

Planning to do bit of everything but mostly to do fashion

----------

That made it so clear

pretty fashion desktops

http://entertainment.desktopnexus.com/cat/fashion/

What I've learnt about boys (in progress) with the help of my 12 year old cousin

Men are twelve and so are women and we never change.

Therefore and because I was never raised with male children, I am researching to understand what's going on in my boyfriend's heads.

My little cousin is a great example of a regular, confident alpha male. I have approached the subject in several circumstances, and noted down his reactions.

The Phone
He wants to have one and he loves the games but he doesn't like using it to talk. Subject is tense, forced, shy/moody, gets distracted. Doesn't want to talk about his day. Says bye.

Also, he never calls me back when I ask him to. It makes me really upset but he doesn't give it any importance

Meet Ups
He doesn't respond to plans suggestions by myself, but then I'm told by his mom that he constantly asks her when she'll take him to see me. Hypothesis - He doesn't want me to know that he wants to see me. But why?? Mixed signals

Activities together
He invites me to go play videogames in his room. Appears uninterested in going to the park for a picnic

Physical Approach
Subject is hugely responsive in person, and is fascinated by my boobies (and those of other people) and tries to touch my bum. Super inappropriate out in public.

Sometimes when we're talking, he gets bored stands up and leaves the room.

Holding Hands
Only if we're crossing the street

Eccentricities
Demands I accompany him to the toilet when we're out. (Thankfully grown men don't do this)

Presents
I've never gotten anything from him. He doesn't know when my birthday is

Sleepovers
He's quite happy to sleep at mine, and particularly interested in sleeping in my bed

Kissing
Never wants to kiss me hello or goodbye, and never in front of other people. I have to force him a kiss on the cheek. When obliged, seems happy enough...It's hard to figure out when he wants to be obliged

Communication of emotions
When asked if he loves me, he says "of course not" and laughs

Favorite topics of conversation
Girls, models, sex, my boyfriends and that they look gay, war, weapons, being a virgin or not, sports, mobile phones and computers

Surprise bragging
Randomly throws "I have the biggest willy in my class" into the conversation

TV
Likes eating in front of it. Leaves the plate around, somewhere. Rarely requests water (tbe- why do men don't drink water??)